marriage

Real Talk

Real talk, how many of you have gone through hardship in silence?

How many of you went through said hardship and felt alone?

Now, how many of you think that if you would have just said something to someone who loved you you might have felt less alone?

Some of us experience loneliness by choice. Some of us get so wrapped up in our life and it’s situations that we forget that there are people outside of our household that sincerely love us. We become so laser focused on how to fix things ourselves that we lose sight of the big picture. I know this because I’ve fallen victim to it myself. By choice.

I don’t know if it was pride, insecurity, or what. I do know that I dealt with certain things alone and I now know that I never had to. I know that in my loneliness I was tempted to reach out. Countless times I convinced myself not to pick up the phone. Countless times I’d answer the question “how are you?” With “great how are you?” When things weren’t always so great. I did it as a safety mechanism I assume. I figured the less people I let in the less hurt I could feel. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. I myself did enough hurt to myself. You see, by not asking for help when I needed it it caused me to suffer for a longer time. Sure, I recovered. I sought Christ and he always met me where I was. However, looking back I could have overcome some of what I have gone through if I just trusted the ones I love more. I’m blessed to have learned this lesson sooner then later. I now know that it’s ok to talk. It’s ok to ask, and it’s ok to not look like you have it all together. All of us are going through something and some of us might be doing it better then others. That’s ok. Just don’t forget you’re not alone. If you truly have no one to talk to feel free to reach out. I may not have all of the answers but, I have a listening ear, an open heart and I know someone who does have all of the answers.

I pray you are encouraged today, encouraged to ask for help if you need it. Encouraged to not be lonely. Encouraged to love yourself enough to seek love, and peace through Jesus.

In his love,

Mrs_Noso

Happy Anniversary!

Hello beautiful people!

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 12 year wedding anniversary! We’ve been together for 17 years and married for 12. I must say its been a journey so far and I’m looking forward to the next 17+++++ years.

As I sit here sipping my coffee I remember when we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. A colleague of mine had asked me how we managed to stay together for so long. I was actually taken back by the question. I personally didn’t think 10 years of marriage was long. So, I answered honestly, with the first thing that came to my mind. All I said was, “well, he’s my best friend”. That’s it. Before my husband and I started dating we were just friends, inseparable. After we started dating that feeling never changed. Whenever something great or terrible would happen he’d be the one I’d want to tell. When he wasn’t around I wanted him to be. It was never and has never been complicated with us. We make each other laugh, we’ve made each other cry, we talk, we argue, we love, we compromise, we learn and we grow. We do all of those things together. It’s never been an option to just not be together and I pray it never becomes one. As parents now to 3 amazingly cool kiddos we constantly remind each other that we are on the same team. That one day our babies will grow up and have their own families and we’ll have each other. We remind each other not because we don’t value the time with our kids but, to keep our relationship in perspective. To help each other remember that it’s us as one strong unit.

You see, our life isn’t perfect. We’ve stuggled financially, we’ve struggled with trust, with God, with family, health, attitude, etc. But, all in all we never promised each other a perfect life. We promised each other commitment to the life we’ve created; together, with Christ as the center. Because of that, our life is perfect for us. I wouldn’t change where we’ve been or what we’ve gone through. In each season we’ve grown together and in each season to come we will continue. (In Jesus name)

So, to all you newly married couples, keep going. Yes, the odds might be stacked against you but, with Christ at the center it’s possible. Go back to basics if you have to. A date night, a hand written note, a simple reminder of your friendship. You can do it. Remember marriage doesn’t have an expiration date. Xoxo

To all of you married veterans. Thank you for your example. Thank you for your hope. Keep going!!! We are routing for you

In Love

Mrs_Noso,

He’s my umbrella.

Hi my beautiful people!

Today was such a gloomy day.

This morning, as I was getting ready to leave, I opened the garage door and immediately thought to myself “ I hope it’s not rainy like this tomorrow” …..I had barely started my day and I was already concerned about my plans for the next day.

Why, have I been so hardwired to think so little of my own plans? That the second a little storm comes the joys of tomorrow are put on the back burner? I thought “That just can’t be right”.

Then, I heard in my spirit, “Don’t allow todays weather determine tomorrow’s forecast”. Wow!!! Isn’t it like me to see a little rain and drastically Think tomorrow’s plans have to change.??!!! And, isn’t it like God to just put things back into perspective! You see, When God directs your path, no rain, or storm should ever get in your way. If God is telling you it’s time to get things done then dance in the rain and get them done! Don’t let the rain stop you. Don’t cancel your purpose or the plans that God has purposed in you. Keep going. Tomorrow, may be brighter and better then today. Don’t allow yourself to worry about it. Simply give yourself the time to embrace it.

When I heard that in my Spirit, I thought of all of the time I must have wasted worrying about tomorrows plans because of today’s storm. Don’t cancel tomorrow because of today. Fulfill your purpose. Fulfill your plans. Do what’s in your heart and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. Apply for the job, say hi to the girl, start that journal entry. If it’s edifying to you and the kingdom Just get it done. Don’t Stop, Because when God is for you, he’s your umbrella on a rainy day. 😛 xoxo

Be Encouraged

Mrs_Noso

Chameleons they are NOT

I love all things comedy. If you can make me laugh we can be best friends. It’s really that simple.

So when my husband and I first starting talking he could make me laugh until I cried! He still can. His humor is a huge reason I fell in love. Now, after almost 12 years of marriage and three kids later, I’ve got my own comedy routine at home. Put him and my kiddos together and I’m laughing until I’m running to the bathroom peeing on my self (I know TMI).

Now, the only problem with them being so funny is that our sense of humor isn’t always appreciated by everyone. Don’t get me wrong; we’re not mean or anything! It’s just not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes, when my daughter cracks a joke around other family members or friends she gets a stare. When my middle child makes a funny it sometimes goes unnoticed (he’ll usually say it under his breath). When my youngest does it he just drops the mic. Each of them at the end of any given day can tell me about a joke they cracked through their experiences and how the person was so lame that they didn’t get it. That’s right, if people don’t get their humor the kids aren’t the problem the people are. (I’m a bit biased lol)

You see, my goal isn’t to raise chameleons. My goal is to raise proper humans that aren’t jerks and know how to laugh and have fun. All while serving the one and only Son of God Jesus Christ. Life isn’t a popularity contest. It’s new to all of us. We need to enjoy being who we are with our individual sense of style, humor and personality. I’ve noticed to many parents comparing their kids to others instead of embracing who they’ve been raising. I am not the perfect momager I promise! But I am the perfect one for them and they are perfect for me.

If your kid is trying to brighten someone’s day and attempts to make them laugh…..let them. It might not be perfect comedic timing but, it’ll give them the opportunity to learn who their audience is and who might not be. Either way there should be a learning in every laugh.

In his love

Mrs_Noso

Plain Rude

I did something out of my comfort zone recently.

This Saturday I woke up with an important project on my mind. For this project I chose to look my best. So, I woke up early, picked my clothes, showered, did my hair and makeup and was ready to go! On most days this would be a normal occurrence, but, for a working mother of three (during a pandemic) it’s less then normal.

Anyway, I felt cute. I even took a selfie! From the perfect angle of course. You know, the one where you hold the phone super high and tilt your head ever so slightly while giving your camera the look of death. YUP THAT ONE!

So now, I’m ready to start my project. Everyone is sitting around the table and the camera is rolling. Suddenly, all I could think about was how I looked. Were my rolls showing? Am I sitting up straight enough? Are my hips visibly hanging over the seat? Every thought in my mind of me being cute was now out the window. POOF!!!……… GONE! All confidence shot to hell!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I was confident in what I was saying. I was sincere and present in the moment, but initially my mind was off to the races! Now after we were done I wanted to see a few photos that were taken. And of course my fears became a reality I looked atrocious!!!

Of Course, like any good wife, I vented to my husband about it that evening.

Here we are in bed and I go off about myself. I tell him that I looked chunky and that I shouldn’t have been in front of the camera. I told him that I need to lose more weight and my current efforts are failing miserably. I told him I looked like a potato!! YUP A POTATO!! Yes, I told my husband that the women of his choosing. The mother of his children, and the one he plans to grow old with looked like trash……..(YIKES)……Then he looks up at me with his big orange eyes and simply says “No, Dinorah, you look like you’re sitting at a table having a conversation”.

He didn’t tell me I was beautiful. He didn’t tell me it’ll be ok. He didn’t play into my self pity. He told me “No”. It was then I realized I wasn’t insulting just myself. I was insulting him. I was talking about his wife. I was talking about someone he loves. In that very instant I made a decision to NEVER insult myself again!

Now, it might be difficult because I tell him how I feel about everything…… but it’s not healthy for him to hear about my feelings all of the time. I came to understand that I’m much more critical of myself then anyone else. I also realized that when I insult myself I’m also insulting him.

Please, hear my heart. It IS ok to speak to your spouse about your insecurities and pain. I’m not saying that it’s not. In fact it’s healthy. However, it’s not ok to verbally abuse yourself and expect your spouse not to hurt from it too. They also have feelings and most of the time they keep it to themselves because of your insecurities. Them saying “NO” should be enough.

So, if you regularly speak ill of yourself please STOP. It doesn’t help, it doesn’t change anything, and it’s just plain RUDE! Love yourself because Christ loves you.

Love always,

MrsNoso